YOU WILL FIND THESE SOMEWHERE

A COMPREHENSIVE RESOURCE

BEST FRIEND WITH CAKES

It loves you! Pus and blood may leak from its festering, feverish eyes, it knows, it really knows, but you can talk to it. Don't be sad. You won't miss it, really. You can go shopping and go bowling and skiing and swimming together, but it's so fragile it can't touch anything, or it'll dissolve into a frothy pile of chemicals and plush bones, so it'll just stand by and watch you. Approachable and passive. If you come close, you'll smell candles. It lit one for you.

It was fun to pretend!

Known to be found in:

  • Sewer pipes
  • Birthday parties
  • Candy stores
  • Back roads
  • Hospitals
  • Suburbs
  • Bathroom sinks
  • Your grandmother's house
  • Your house
  • Photo albums

Precautions to take:

If you actively seek it, keep this in mind: Although it is your best friend, it is very sick, so you must take care of it, as all good friends do.

  • Bring your arms, so it can be held.
  • Bring a puppet, for it likes to be entertained.
  • Bring another puppet to avoid eating its cakes (you never know what's in them) by pretending to feed them to somebody else, as to not hurt its feelings.
  • Bring one bag for its cakes, so you can throw them out later when its not looking.
  • Bring a bicycle, to have some fun.
  • Bring some gloves, so it doesn't hurt you when you touch it.
  • Bring a napkin, to wipe cake frosting off of it's face, because it's quite the messy eater.

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all images and whatnot are my own creations that are documentations of my own findings; all images on this site are licensed under CC-BY; use them how you wish, just please share what corner of the universe you had found them in (which is here)